Dating sex boundaries
Some translations render the word "wrong" as "defraud." To defraud someone is to deceive that person — in this context, to imply a commitment that does not exist by committing acts with someone that are appropriate only in the context of a particular relationship (i.e., marriage) to satisfy my own "passionate lust." To commit sexual immorality with and against someone, far from showing the "love" to which Scripture calls all believers, is to act like those "who do not know God," and this passage calls such acts "sin." Now, one obvious counterargument to the point I intend to make is that the Scriptures I've cited above just beg the question of what behaviors violate those passages.
The argument might run thus: "Of course I want to love to others. I just think I can show genuine affection (short of intercourse) with someone I clearly care about and still obey those passages." Fair enough. Let's say for the sake of argument that it is theoretically possible to engage in extramarital romantically oriented physical activity Think about the times you have engaged in any type of romantically oriented physical activity with someone not your spouse.
In Song of Songs, God has given us a holy and beautiful picture of a marital sexual relationship, and everyone seems to be having an excellent time.
Even there, however, God is clear that sex is "Do not arouse or awaken love before it so desires." (Song of Songs 2:7).
Still, the overwhelming majority of believers will only share that relationship with one person in their entire lives.
How are we to relate to everyone else (especially believers), and how does that question inform the topic of premarital sexual activity?
We all know what we're talking about here, and these are not the things I mean to address in this column.
The game changes when two people are romantically involved or "semi-involved" (a fascinating phrase I recently heard). Before you start throwing things at your computer, let's go to Scripture.
Whatever you did, did that interaction reflect of sexual immorality in what you did (Ephesians 5:3-5)?
It might have been last night or last week or last year or back in high school or college.
Would you describe whatever you did as "holy and honorable," or was it done to satisfy the "passionate lust" of you or your partner or both (1 Thessalonians 4:4-5)?
Before continuing with this article, please review the preamble included at the beginning of Scott's first article in this series, "Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating." * * * PART 4: Navigating the Early Stages of a Relationship » Quite a few Boundless readers asked questions or made comments about my statement in "Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating" that "biblical dating assumes outside of marriage that Scripture explicitly prohibits?
How can you say definitively that other things are wrong? Shouldn't our physical relationship "progress" as other aspects of our relationship deepen? I understand most physical stuff is wrong, but what about All good questions.